Today I decided to do my family a favor for letting me stay with them. So I gathered up all the clothes around the house, stuffed the bags into my trunk and then headed over to the laundromat in town.
Back before I moved, laundry was what I’d do to help me think. It’s just something about this place and the smell that would help relax me. And right about now, relaxation is something I needed. Why? Because today is Sunday. But not only did I have the thought of seeing my dad weighing me down, but I also couldn’t stop thinking of someone. And that someone was Will.
While I was going inside the house last night, I ran into Rodger and his friend Mason. Just seeing them together made me think about how Will and I were at 17. Best friends. Always together. One secretly liking the other. But then when he ran into the house later that night telling me what happened, it got me thinking. What if I had did the same thing? Or, what if I’m too late now to say anything?
My mind was swimming with what if’s so badly that it felt like I could barely see. I even cleaned my glasses with my shirt at one point. The thoughts were making me feel crazy. Of course I was happy for my cousin, but part of me was, jealous? But why? Or better yet, why wouldn’t I be?
At some point I found myself taking out my phone in a frenzy to call someone, anyone. Or at least, that was until I noticed the text messages from Will that I ignored all morning.
I wanted to put my phone back in my pocket when I noticed it. I couldn’t face hearing her voice just yet. Not when I was feeling like this. My mind was going crazy with feelings for her and then thoughts of my dad. But at the same time, there’s no one else I know that would even have the ability to calm my nerves the way she can. So without even truly processing my thoughts, my fingers scrolled through my phone and found her number.
“Jake! Finally you decide to call me back, you jerk!”
“Sorry about that. Was kind of busy.”
“Kind of busy for a text message? Puh-lease! I know you better than that. Yoouu were avoiding me. Weren’t you?”
*bites lip* “No I wasn’t. I just–”
“Ugh!!! You know I hate it when you lie to me.”
*huffs* “You’re lucky you’re about to meet your Dad today or else I’d go in. But I know that’s not what you need to hear right about now.” *relaxes* “So, how are you feeling? I know you’re nervous so there’s no need to say you aren’t.”
*sighs* “I’m extremely nervous. I’m in the laundromat right now in an attempt to calm myself.”
“Not working, is it?”
“Not at all.”
“Okay, let’s see. . . I want you to think real hard about something that makes you happy. It can be anything, anyone, any place. Doesn’t matter.”
“But what if the thoughts around that thing doesn’t make you calm?”
*frustrated* “Then I don’t know what to tell you, Jake. I’m trying to help keep you calm and you’re not even trying yourself.”
“You keep me calm.”
*sighs* “Don’t try to flatter me, Jake. I know that I annoy the crap out you most of the time.”
“No you don’t.” *laughs* “I mean, once in a while I wanna’ kick you out the window. But that’s only because I know you’d probably survive and still be able to run back up and yell at me for not changing Tiffany’s water bowl.”
*smirking tone* “Wow, what a wonderful friend you are.”
“But really, Will, you don’t annoy. If anything, you are probably one of the best things that’s happened to me.”
*laughs uncomfortably* ” Yeah right. I’m the culprit of your horrible sleeping pattern and the sister of the guy who turned your sister into a vampire. Doubt I’m that great.”
*laughs* “Come on, my sleeping isn’t that bad. Besides, I don’t need that many hours of sleep anyway.”
“UmmHmm. What about the other thing?”
“That wasn’t your fault. And it just shows that you obviously mean a hell of a lot to me if I still talk to you after everything that happened.”
“True, true. I will admit, you mean a lot to me, too. But let’s not get all sappy and crap. You know I hate that stuff. Makes me feel all weird and uncomfortable.”
*smirks* “Because you hate showing feelings.”
“Bingo. You know me way too well, buddy.” *laughs*
“How’s the band going? Got anymore gigs?”
*laughs* “Did we? It’s crazy! We’ve been getting calls since that article came out. I actually have a gig tonight, at Eugi’s.”
“Are you serious? That’s great!”
“It is! I can’t believe it’s starting to happen. Hopefully somebody will notice us soon and will get us signed. But until then, we’ll just keep getting gigs.”
“So now because of the gigs we’re getting, we figured it was about time we start making some posters. We took a few pictures, slapped our band name on it and called it a day. We just gotta’ go into town and get them printed. Then we can put up flyers and give out our posters when we perform. Amber thought it was a stupid idea but she got out ruled.”
“That’s really great, Will. I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks, Jake. Hopefully by the time you get back everything will really be taking off.”
“I hope so. You deserve it.”
“Ugh! Max is on the other line. Probably calling to find out why I’m not already at the garage.”
*laughs* “You should probably answer it then.”
*smirking tone* “You sure? I know you’re all messed up over there without me.”
“I swear I can feel your smirk through the phone. Go to practice. I’ll be fine.”
“Alright, if you insist. Call me sometime. Not saying tonight, and I’m not saying tomorrow. But don’t forget to call while you’re gone.”
“I will. Bye, Will.”
“Bye, Jake. Good Luck with your Dad. Everything will go fine.”
Everything will go fine. Yeah, sure. Everything would go fine if I was dealing with anyone but MY father. Nothing just “goes fine” when it comes to that man. After being off the phone with Will for five minutes I wished I was back on with her. When I was listening to her voice nothing seemed to bother me. It was like I completely forgot about all the worry and doubts inside my mind. Then once I got off, it all came flooding back.
And the worst part of all was the fact that I almost completely spilled my guts to her. How much stupider can I get? I could of ruined everything if I said anything else to her about “feelings.” It’s bad enough I already said too much. The last thing she needs is that kind of stress. Not when she’s trying to get this band off the ground.
The thoughts continued on for hours. Even after I heard the beep of the dryer, I continued to sit there. I didn’t want to go back to the house and face anyone, especially Bree. She’d be able to spot my mood from a mile away. She’s just good at things like that. And then there’s Rodger. More than likely he’d have Mason over right about now, and that’s the last thing I really wanted to see. So I sat there, until finally I knew it was time for me to face him. I just hope he’ll actually be there.
nessasaurusrex 