Chapter 86: Running From the Past

Posted: June 26, 2013 in My Life Caught on a Silver Camera

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“This is it.” I sighed as I stared into the cheap, gaudy mirror in front of me. I was sitting inside my dressing room. You’d think a place in Starlight Shores would have a room with minimal things in it for their “stars” to get dressed in. But this damn place was full of useless shit like I’m going to see a circus.

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Focus, Amber. I grabbed my lipstick from my purse and started reapplying it. I always got nervous before a show. That was normal. I never showed it though. That was  something I’ve always been good at hiding. But today was different. There was something…off. Something I couldn’t put my finger on. Just the thought of it made me want a drink.

I quickly ran my fingers through my bag for my eyeliner. As my hand found it I could hear the sound of loud voices making their way towards my room.

“Whoa. Do you really need more eyeliner?” Will carelessly burst through the door as she made her way over to the couch. I rolled my eyes as I placed the tube back in my bag.

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“And you might want to try blotting some of that lipstick away. You look like you just feasted on a damn cow.”

I quickly spun around to glare at her. “Well maybe I want to look like I ate a damn cow.”

“Suit yourself.” She shrugged as she started messing with the display board that was sitting next to her.

“Did you come in here just to bother me?” I asked, staring at her through the mirror.

She leaned back for a second while she contemplated her answer. She paused slightly before looking back at me.

“Um…Yes.” A smirk played on the corner of her lips as Trixi and Skylar barged in.

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“Damn! Look at all this shit!” Trixi walked in with her arms crossed as she examined all the figurines in the room.

“No one told us the circus was in town.” Skylar said smirking as he leaned against the wall.

“Oh shut up you guys. You all did this on purpose.” I hissed with my arms folded.

“Did what?” Will asked as a grin spread across her face.

“You all chose the dressing rooms that didn’t look like a grandma lived in it.”

“My grandma never would live here. She’s got better taste than this.” Will said rolling her eyes.

“I’m not in this. My room looks like a magician lived in it.” Skylar said backing away.

“Well, hey,” Trixi began as she made her way towards me. “Not everyone can have the dressing room made for a rock God.”

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“Bitch! She took the only good room here!” Will shouted while pointing at her.

Trixi laughed and looked back at Will. “You’re just mad you lost the damn coin toss.”

“Damn right I am! It was freakin’ rigged. You look like the type to carry a double heads coin.” She said through narrowed eyes.

“Why’d you get the good room? That’s not fair.” I said glaring at her.

“Well life isn’t fair, baby cakes.” Trixi teased while patting my shoulders. She bent down in front of the mirror next to mine as she pulled her hair away from her ear revealing a joint. She carelessly licked the paper as she took a lighter out of her pocket.

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“Hey! No smoking in my god damn room!” I yelled as I pointed at her. Will quickly sat up as Skylar came closer.

“Whoa there, Trixi. I thought you stopped that?” Will’s voice was full of concern.

Trixi took a slow drag and blew the smoke up in front of her before speaking.

“Mind your business.”

“But you can’t just whip out some bud in front of us and not expect us to get curious.” Skylar said, folding his arms.

“Look, I’m just a little stressed. So drop it.” She rolled her eyes again before taking another drag.

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I shot out my sit in a flash of anger. “Look, bitch. I’m not droppin’ shit ‘till you stop smoking in my god damn room! Now Get Out!”

She smirked at me and chuckled to herself as she looked down at the bud between her fingers. She took another drag as she made her way closer to me. My hands were balled up in fists and my legs began to shake with rage. “If you take one step closer, I swear.”

She slowly stopped in front of me as she blew smoke in my face. I launched forward at her as I felt Will grab my body in mid air.

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“I think we’ve had enough bonding for today. Don’t you think, Skylar?” She said as she struggled to keep me down.

“Yeah. Maybe it’s about time we all just relaxed.” He had Trixi’s waist and shoulder locked in his arms as she squirmed to get free.

“That stupid bitch needs to get out of my room!!!” I screamed.

“Shut up, Amber. Stop being such a damn diva.” Trixi spat with annoyance seething throughout her voice.

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Within a second the door flung open revealing Antwone and Ruby. Our heads all snapped in their direction as we all froze in our spots.

“What the HELL is going on here?” Antwone shouted. “We can hear you by the bar!”

Ruby gracefully stepped around Antwone as she examined us.

“Amber. Trixi. You two better have a good excuse as to why you both are fighting again.”

“I didn’t do anything!” Trixi yelled, throwing her hands up in the air.

“Didn’t do anything my ass!” I screamed. “This little Bitch-“

“I’m a big bitch. Don’t get it twisted.”

“Like I said,” I started again. “This little bitch started smoking in my room. I told her to stop and she wouldn’t and then proceeded to blow smoke in my god damn face!”

Ruby looked over to Trixi who was looking away defiantly. “Trixi, is this true?”

“It might be.” She quickly flicked the bud at her as we watched it land at Ruby’s feet. Ruby stared back at her as a smirk appeared on Trixi’s face.

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“That is enough!” Antwone stepped into the middle of the room and looked at all of us. “This will be the last time I have to come into a damn dressing room before a show to get you all to stop fighting. I don’t give a damn what you guys do to each other but it better not be in here! Do I make myself clear?” Everyone slowly nodded.

“Good.” He smoothed out his shirt and walked towards the door. “Now get your asses on that stage.”

When no one moved he stopped and turned around. “What? Am I talking to a wall? I mean now! Go!” He hung his head in frustration as we all scrambled out the door.

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As I got closer to the stage my anxiety got worse. It wasn’t the same type I felt before a performance. It felt like there was someone out there. Someone that wasn’t supposed to be there.

“You alright?” Will’s face was filled with concern as she placed a hand on my shoulder. I nodded and waved her away.

Pull yourself together already. The show must go on.  I took a deep breath as I placed my ear to the wall.

“Come on.” Skylar waved me over in a hushed voice as the announcer came on stage. I could hear the crowd of people cheering for the band that played before us.

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My mind was lost in thought and before long the announcer was off the stage and Skylar was pushing me forward. I looked into the crowd at the people screaming. A small smirk played on the corner of my lips as I walked towards the stage. Each step stronger as the cheers  pulsed through my veins like blood. I stepped on the stage and looked around to each of my band members. The show will go on. I grabbed my guitar and strummed my first note as the crowd exploded into cheers.

———————————————————————————~*~———————————————————————————

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-Cue Music-

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“Oh no I just keep on falling”
(Back to the same old…)

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“And where’s hope when misery comes crawling?”
(Oh my way, Ay…)
“With your faith you’ll trigger a landslide”
(victory)
“To kill off this common sense of mind”

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“It takes acquired minds to taste, to taste, to taste this wine
You can’t down it with your eyes
So we don’t need the headlines
We don’t need the headlines
We just want…”

(We want the airwaves back, we want the airwaves back)

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“Everybody sing like it’s the last song you will ever sing
Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?
Everybody live like it’s the last day you will ever see
Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?”

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“Right now you’re the only reason”
(I’m not letting go, oh…)
“And time out if everyone’s worth pleasing”
(Well ha-ha!)
“You’ll trigger a landslide”
(Victory)
“to kill off their finite state of mind”

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“It takes acquired minds to taste, to taste, to taste this wine
You can’t down it with your eyes
So we don’t need the headlines
No, we don’t want your headlines
We just want…”

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“(We want the airwaves back, we want the airwaves back)”

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“Everybody sing like it’s the last song you will ever sing
Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?
Everybody live like it’s the last day you will ever see
Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?
Everybody sing like it’s the last song you will ever sing
Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure?”

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“Alright, so you think you’re ready?
Ok, then you say this with me
Go!
We were born for this
We were born for this”

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“Alright, so you think you’re ready?
OK, then you say this with me
Go!
We were born for this
We were born for this
We were born for this
We were born for this”

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“We were born for
We were born for”

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“Everybody sing like it’s the last song you will ever sing
Tell me, tell me, can you feel the pressure?
Everybody live like it’s the last day you will ever see
Tell me, tell me, can you feel the pressure now?”

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“Everybody sing like it’s the last song you will ever sing

Tell me, tell me, can you feel the pressure?
Tell me, tell me, can you feel the pressure?”

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“We were born for this
We were born for this
We were born for this”

———————————————————————————~*~———————————————————————————

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At the end of my last note, my eyes locked on to someone. He was standing behind the crowd and looked like he didn’t belong. The second his eyes met mine I knew exactly who he was. The anxiety I was feeling earlier began to make sense as a smirk slowly spread across his face. My eyes narrowed slightly as I brought my lips to the mike.

“Good night, everyone. Keep on crawlin’.”

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I quickly grabbed my guitar and walked off the stage, the rest of the band trailing behind me. I knew they were trying to keep our rep by egging the crowd on. Throwing middle fingers everywhere and just acting like idiots for the heck of it. But the act quickly ended the second we were out of the crowd’s eyes. I could feel a hand grab my shoulder, yanking me backwards.

“What’s your problem?” I hissed as my eyes met Will’s.

“No. What’s your problem? What’s going on?” Her eyebrows were narrowed signaling the seriousness of her questions.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I flicked her hand away and fixed my shirt.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. What’s got you acting like this?” The concern in her voice was slowly coming through. I rolled my eyes and started walking. “Mind your business, Will.” I said over my shoulder.

I could sense her shrug in frustration as she called out after me. “You really should come upstairs with us instead of trying to run away from your past. The past has a way of finding you anyway.”

“I’ll take my chances.” I growled as I turned the knob of the back door.

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It was dark out. Maybe just past 11:30. The sky was clear with brighter stars than Bridgeport. The cool night air on my skin felt relaxing. I planned to spend the next few hours I had soaking in a bubblebath scented of plasma fruit. It would just be me, my bath, and my music. Alone in the house. No one to disturb me. It was like a dream after this damn tour. I haven’t been alone in months. Literally.

I was lost in thought as a small rat scurried past me. “Damn rat!” I shouted, picking up a rock to throw at it.

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“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” A deep voice said through the darkness.

I jumped, gripping the rock tighter in order to aim it at someone. I knew that voice. It was a voice I hadn’t heard in 20 years. And it still was able to send chills down my spin. My mouth twisted in disgust at the thought of him.

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“Well, look who it is.” A smirk was permanently planted on his face as he slowly stepped into the light. “Didn’t think I’d see you here.”

“Don’t be a dumbass. You knew I was part of a band.” My voice was full of irritation as I spoke.

“Okay, maybe I did know you would be here.”

“So now you’re stalking me?” My arms folded as I glared at him.

“No.” His smirk slowly began to fade as he continued. “I actually live here in The Shores. For now at least. I’m a ‘cabana boy’ for some gold digger.”

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“A cabana boy?” I laughed. “You’re a cabana boy? That’s just rich.”

“Laugh it up. We made a deal. I don’t have to wear the stupid little outfits as long as I make sure to clean the pool at night and stay completely out of sight near the house at all times.”

“The point being…”

A serious look washed over his face. “You do know there are vampire hunters around here right?”

“Obviously. Every place has them.” I said rolling my eyes. “Why am I even entertaining you right now? I need to go.”

I turned around and could feel his hand gently grab my arm.

“Wait, Amber.” He pleaded.

“What do you want?” I spat.

“Look, I know every inch of this city. I could show you around. The Shores has some really nice places to see after dark.”

“I think I’ll explore it with my band instead. Thank you for the suggestion.” I smirked, turning around.

“I could show you the places to avoid as well.” He called out.

“I’m a big girl, Sky. I can look after myself.” I hissed.

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Within a second he was in front of me, grabbing my hands.

“I’m sorry.” His eyes were fixed on mine as his thumbs gently massaged my hands. “You have to believe me when I say I was only trying to help.”

My eyes snapped towards his in a fit of rage.

“My boyfriend had just gotten shot. You came to my house. Forced me against a wall! And then almost drained me.” I quickly took my hands from his and wiped them on my skirt.

“You left me for dead in the dirt outside of my house. And instead of dying, I woke up as a monster inside of a jail cell. And you somehow expect me to forgive you?” My eyes were slowly filling with blood. A feeling I hadn’t felt in years. Since the last time I saw him.

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He cautiously came closer to me and spoke as gently as he could. “Amber, you have to understand where I’m coming from. I could have drained you months before, but I couldn’t. I don’t know why but I just couldn’t do it. I saw how you were being treated. Not by your boyfriend but by everyone else.” His hands softly glided onto my shoulder as he continued. “The second he was shot I knew what would happen. I didn’t want you to suffer anymore. I wanted to give you a way to keep yourself safe from all the people taking advantage of you because you didn’t deserve any of it. You never have. I was just trying to do what I thought was best for you.” He finished barely above a whisper.

“So now all of a sudden you’re some saint?” I growled, glaring at him.

“No. I’m far from it. But you’re different. I wanted to help you. I didn’t have a clue why. But I still wanted to help.” He said, closing the space between us.

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My head was spinning. None of it was making sense, yet it fit together perfectly. Everyday I’d wake up and want to kill myself, yet I’d still feel the strongest I’ve ever felt in my life. Somehow he did help me, but didn’t at the same time. A blessing and a curse. That’s what it was. Everything was so complicated. He was complicated.

I slowly looked up at him standing in front of me. “Why did you feel the need to come see me tonight?”

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“I wanted to try and make things right between us.” His thumb softly traced the outline of my face sending a cool sensation through me. “I didn’t want you to hate me when I still care so much about you.” I could feel the cold aura of his lips inches away from mine. Everything in me screamed for me to leave. I was supposed to bitch and leave. But I couldn’t bring myself to. My body was frozen in place.

“Do you still hate me?” He whispered in my ear.

I licked my lips as I attempted to collect myself. His lips lingered by mine, waiting for a response.

“Of course.” A small smirk crept up the corner of my mouth as his face slowly deflated.

“Do you think that will ever change?” He asked, looking into my eyes.

“I doubt it.” I replied shaking my head.

He hung his head for a second before smiling to himself.

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He gently wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my head.

“I’ll always care for you, Amber. Just remember that.”

“You shouldn’t.” I said softly.

“It isn’t that easy.” He quickly squeezed my hand and let go.

Within a second he was gone. I looked around on unsteady feet. There was no sign of him. I’ve gotta’ get out of here. I ran to the curb to hail a cab. As I ran, someone coming out of the club noticed me.

“Hey! You’re that vampire! The one in the band! Hey wait!”

I quickly jumped in the cab and rode home.

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My legs were wobbly as it stood on the pavement outside of our house. I fumbled to find my keys as I leaned against the door.

You’re not the same girl, Amber. You’re stronger now.

I shoved my key in the door and pushed it open, leaving an imprint of my hand on the knob. As the door shut behind me, I slid to the floor. I hadn’t seen him in years. I was bound to see him again some day. But why tonight? Why did it have to be tonight?

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My head sunk into my hands and tears began to run down my face. Sometimes I feel like my life is just a constant chase.  A constant chase of my past trying to haunt me.

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Comments
  1. Arrowleaf says:

    As soon as I saw Sky’s picture I had to take a step back to silently scream. xD

    That was so perfect and just asdjhashdasdasd. It’s exactly how I would imagine the two of them reuniting. I mean, I would have preferred for them to jump into bed together but ya’know. I’ll take what I can get. ;]

    Wonderful chapter.

  2. […] AN: If you want to know what happens at the concert read Nessa’s Chapter here. […]

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