Chapter 110

Posted: November 28, 2015 in My Life Caught on a Silver Camera, Uncategorized

Clothes rushed past me as I threw dresses out of my dresser. Tiffany and Misty ran for cover as shirts and pants flew from my hands. I was searching my drawers for something to wear. I needed to look nice but I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. I needed to be invisible. But I also needed to protect myself. I mean, I’m going outside in broad daylight after all.

I quickly pulled a dress out of my draw and held it up for further inspection. I bit my lip as I examined it.

“You might just have to do.” I mumbled to myself. I held it up against my body and walked to the mirror. I looked over at Tiffany and Misty and posed. “Too much?”

Misty yawned and jumped down from the bed as Tiffany barked with her tail wagging.

“Well thank you, Tiffany.” I said as I glared at Misty as she slinked away.

“I just hope this goes well.” I mumbled to myself as I ran my hands through my hair.

If I was human my hands would have been sweating as I held my umbrella up. I adjusted my shades and tried to act natural as I came closer to the park. I could already see the arrangement from where I was. The closer I got the bigger my smile became. I decided on a nice bench away from the ceremony. It wasn’t too far that I couldn’t hear anything, but it hopefully was far enough that no one would notice me.

I zeroed in on the faces until my eyes caught on him. He looked polished and handsome in his suit but also extremely happy. He smiled as he rocked back and forth on his heels anxiously. Nate patted his shoulder to whisper some words of encouragement his way, making him relax a bit.

The small stench of smoke danced into my nostrils. My eyes shot down to my feet where the shade from my umbrella didn’t reach. I quickly tried to adjust myself but couldn’t find a position where my whole body was covered. I stood up as I searched the area for a new place to sit. I bit my lip when my mind came to its ultimate conclusion. There was no place to sit. Not for someone like me. I sighed and looked back over. I wanted to get one more glimpse of Jake’s happy face before I left but that wasn’t necessarily what I saw.

Instead Jake’s focus was on me. His brows were furrowed in confusion as he stared at me.  An awkward smile graced my lips as I gave him a small wave. I quickly turned around to walk off but I could hear the sound of footsteps coming towards me as fast as any human could.

“Will?” His voice was small behind me as his breath steadied from the quick sprint he did.

“I’m sorry, Jake.” I said as I spun around. “I know you didn’t want me here but I just couldn’t miss your wedding.”

He folded his arms and slowly shook his head. His eyes looked me up and down before they landed on the umbrella with a smirk. “So you mean to tell me you risked the sun to see my wedding?”

I nodded and adjusted my umbrella.

There was a small glimmer in his eyes as a small smile appeared on his lips. “You really didn’t have to.”

“Yes I did. We’ve been together for too long for me to just forget about you.” My eyes quickly shot behind him to his guests. They were all staring at us while they whispered to each other. I glanced over to Nate. He wore an arrogant smirk and waved at us before patting his friend and telling him something. A second later he was jogging over to us.

“Nate’s coming at 12 o’clock.” I whispered.

Jake rolled his eyes and wiped his mouth with annoyance.

“So all I want to know is,” Nate started as he strutted over cockily. “is there gonna’ be a wedding today or have you come to sweep my dude off his feet?” he laughed at his own joke as we both glared at him.

“What?” he said defensively. “It was a joke. Well sort of. Not really.”

“You and I both know that Will would never do that.” Jake growled. But I wish she would.

My eyes widened at his thought and I shifted uncomfortably. But this time, he noticed my shift. He looked up at me slowly with specks of horror in his eyes.

Did you read my thoughts?

I bit my lip and shut my eyes. I slowly nodded and looked away.

“How could you do that?!” Jake’s voice was laced with betrayal.

“Well I’m sorry if I haven’t needed to control my abilities since you stopped coming around.” I hissed.

Nate’s face contorted from the awkwardness and he rocked back and forth on his heels.

“Um… While you two hash this out, I’m gonna go wait over there.” He quickly shoved his hands in his pockets and power walked back to his spot.

My eyes glanced over the faces of everyone again before I sighed.

“Let’s not do this right now, Jake. I only came to see your wedding. Not start trouble.”

He glared down at me. “Even after what I told you? You didn’t think that you would start trouble?”

“Well the plan was to go unseen. But I guess that didn’t really work.” I chuckled awkwardly before glaring up at him.

“Why do you treat me like I’m the bad guy? I didn’t do anything wrong, Jake.”

His eyes looked away from me as he put his hands in his pockets. “I know.”

My brows narrowed as I looked up at him. “Then why do you treat me like I’m such a horrible person?”

He quickly wiped his nose with the straightest face he could manage while looking away. “Because I love you.” He said bitterly. “And because I’m weak.”

“You aren’t weak.” I said softly.

“Yes I am. I always have been.” he said matter-of-factly. “You just somehow helped make me stronger.”

I shook my head. “You were always strong, Jake.”

He looked down at me and shook his head in disagreement. “Think of all the times I ran away from you. All because I couldn’t handle my own feelings. Since when is that strong?”

I shifted my weight and glanced back at the crowd anxiously. “I don’t know.” I whispered. “But we really should do this some other time.”

“No.” He said as he put his hand up to stop me. “We’re gonna get this out now.”

“But you’re getting married!” I whispered loudly. “All of your fucking guests are staring at us and whispering!”

“Let them whisper.” He said as he looked back to them.

“What about Valerie?” I growled and pulled his arm. “Do you seriously think she wants to see the man she’s about to marry having a hushed conversation with some girl right before she walks down the aisle?”

His eyes quickly drifted to the area Valerie and the rest of the bridesmaids were hiding in. “It’s not like she knows about how I feel towards you.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” I hissed. “Just makes me feel like I’m keeping some horrible secret from her.”

“Well technically you are.” He smirked.

“This is not the time to joke, Jake!” I whispered loudly.

His smirk widened and he looked away so he wouldn’t make eye contact with me. He looked towards Nate who motioned something to him. Jake shrugged and with a huff I turned around to leave.

I only got a couple feet away before he grabbed my arm. “Alright, alright. You’re right. I shouldn’t be joking about this. This is serious.” He said. “But you might as well stay for the ceremony.

“I don’t think I should.” My eyes glanced back to the guests before looking up at Jake. “I think I’ve already caused enough problems for you and Val’s day.”

His fingers intertwined themselves with mine as he looked down at me. “Please?”

I silently gasped as I looked down at my hands.  I quickly pulled them away and shook my head. “You can’t do that, Jake! Not when you’re getting married!”

“All I did-“

“They don’t realize that.” I said before motioning to the crowd who were eagerly whispering to one another with faces of pure horror. “But even if they did know they’d still be just as appalled.”

“By what?”

“The way you’re acting.”

“Then I guess you should of realized what might of happened if you were noticed today.” He said harshly. “Because obviously you didn’t.”

“Well I’m sorry if I didn’t assume you’d come running from your spot to tell me you love me again. I’m just so sorry I thought you loved Valerie more than that than to try and ruin her day. She’s about to be your wife you know.”

“Well I’d much rather it be you in her place. How about that?” He looked down at me seriously as my mouth fell open. My umbrella almost fell from my hand as I stood in shock at his words.

“You don’t mean that.” I growled. “Tell me you don’t mean that!”

“Look, I wish I could, but I can’t. And that’s just the way it is. “He shrugged. “So if I was to say I didn’t run over here to see if you changed your mind about everything, I’d be lying.  And of course I care about Valerie, but I care about you more. It’s something I don’t think will ever change honestly and I’ve come to terms with it.”

“Jake—“

“Just let me finish first.” He looked towards Valerie’s area and then turned his attention back to me.

“I don’t want you to think I don’t want to ever see you again because that’s not true. When you aren’t around I don’t feel the same. You bring out so much in me that I just can’t by myself. Valerie knows it, Nate knows it, everyone knows it. And honestly, just being with you for this short amount of time is making me feel better than I have in months. “

I shook my head as I looked up at him. “Please don’t keep going. You’ve already said enough.”

“But—“

“Look. I’m sorry for everything I’ve caused to you. All the hurt and pain that I shed on you all these years without knowing. I’m sorry I never knew how you felt. But I can’t change my feelings towards you, Jake.  I love you. I really do. But not the way you want. Not the way you obviously need me to love you.”

“But why?” He begged. “I just need to know before you leave.”

My eyes met his as I could feel them becoming less dry. And as I searched his own I could see desperation and agony throughout them.

“I just…”

“What is it about me that makes me so repulsive to you?”

I searched his eyes one more time before frowning up at him. I closed my eyes as I let the words softly flow from my mouth the best way I knew how.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLJFjrwT0VI

“If I could… could forget him
I would… please believe me
And I know that I should throw the towel in
But baby it’s not… not that easy
You treat me so much better than him
And if I was sane there’d be no competition
But… but I’m in love with someone else
And I’m so sorry
I’m in love with another man
And I know it ain’t right

You’ve  already found someone else
Who can treat you right
Give you the world
Someone who understands the man you are
Cause baby you shine so bright
And I would just dim your star
A girl who’ll treat you like you treat them
Boy I know there’s plenty women
Who would love to have a man like you
But I’m in love with someone else…
I’m so sorry baby
I know I ain’t right… no no no no no no
For what I did to you baby

I can’t explain why it’s him and not you
But at the end of the day baby I just don’t want to
Cause he ain’t no doctor
And we always seem to fight, he ain’t got the perfect body
And sometimes he don’t even treat me right
Oh but when I’m with him, but when I’m with him
When I’m with him, ain’t nobody else like it
I’m so sorry baby that I have to do this to you
But I can’t go on pretending…
Cause I love him, I love him
And I’m so sorry… do you hear me?
I’m so sorry but I love that man
I love that man…
He ain’t always right, but he’s just right for me
I’m in love with another man… and I’m so sorry…
But I love someone else…”

 

I quickly wiped the stray tear from my cheek as I looked up at his face. He was trying hard to keep himself together and he quickly wiped his eye with his sleeve.

“I’m sorry, Jake.” I whispered. I looked behind him and saw some of his guests standing as they stared at me. Nate’s face was laced with worry just like the rest of Jake’s team. One guest quickly stood up as she started clapping until someone stopped her and shook their head.

I looked back at Jake with stern eyes. “Now you better treat that girl right.” I said as I pointed to Valerie’s section. “Because if there’s anyone here that you should want, it should be her. So you better not break that girl’s heart. Promise me you won’t break her heart.”

He looked down at me in pain. “I promise.”

I nodded with a smile. “Good.” I leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Congratulations, Mr. Crew.”

He nodded a thank you and I slowly turned around to walk away. I kept walking until I was out of the park and out of sight. But I stopped under a tree outside of the gate.  Because you see, I wasn’t leaving without seeing his wedding.

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